Seton Hill, Sugar, and Utlimate Fighting

So I actually missed 2 days of blogging. I wasn't slacking off. We were on the road Saturday to do a show at Seton Hill University in Greensburg, PA. Sunday we drove back and I made the heinous mistake of going for a run. I'm not sure if it was as bad as heinous, but I never get to use that word, and it makes me laugh because it sounds like another word. Anyway, I haven't run in months, and I had been in the car all day. It wasn't the best time to run about 4 miles, up and down hills. Thank heaven my fingers aren't used in the act of running or this would be day number 3 of not blogging.

Seton Hill is a small University outside of Pittsburgh and the show was in an awesome, little theater for comedy. Before the show, we had an impromptu spelling bee. Some groups play name games, some play cards, but the Student Activities Board (SAB) of Seton Hill compete in spelling. After an onslaught of rigorous mind-numbing rounds, Brian was the last man standing. Congratulations to him on his flawless spelling ability.

The show went very well and the crowd seemed very pleased by Smalltown Gangstas. They really seemed to appreciate the message of the song, as well as a solid trombone solo. After the show, we headed out to Primanti Bros. Restaurant with the SAB which is where the real fun began. Primanti Bros. is famous for it's sandwiches that are stacked with meat, french fries, and coleslaw. Not only did it taste great, but it also will provide me with a very bad cholesterol report on my next blood test.

As we were eating, a UFC event came on all of the TV's. For those of you who aren't clear on what that is, I don't want you to make the same mistake I did. UFC stands for "Ultimate Fighting Championship," not "Ultimate Frisbee Championship." This is the first time I've witnessed an event like this, since Tickle Me Elmos were the hot item on Black Friday. I wouldn't consider myself a full fledged fan now, but I do see the entertainment value of this sport. I couldn't take my eyes off of the octagon. I don't know if it's because it's an octagon, but I do think if it were a rhombus or trapezoid, it'd be less appealing.

These guys rip in to each other, and don't seem to care about pain or the fact that they're getting other people's blood on themselves. One guy won a very hard fought, bloody battle and cried when he was announced the victor. I don't know if he cried because he was happy, or if the adrenaline was wearing off and he was feeling the fact that half of his head was open. Needless to say, this isn't a sport I will be getting too into. I don't look good in tight shorts, or blood.

As we were in the midst of our dinner, the spelling bee playing SAB, decided to let us in on another game they enjoyed playing, called Sugar Shots. This game involves getting a bunch of sugar packets, emptying one out, and filling it with salt. Then they get mixed up and passed around to the participants. On the count of 3 you suck down your packet, and the person with the salt tries to conceal their reaction so others have to guess who had it. We passed out the packets and even passed them around 7 more times so there was no question of cheating. You'll never guess who ended up with the salt.

Have you ever chugged a packet of salt? Let's just say that my first response was not to conceal the fact that I had the salt. It was my 2nd thought, but by then was too late. I gagged and reached for my water, which turned out to be a bad idea. It was basically like drinking the ocean. My mouth and tongue started to grow numb and I think I was in shell shock, because every 5 minutes I relived the moment of salt filling my mouth. Apparently, the taste buds that respond to salty flavor are on the side, towards the middle of my tongue. I know because they were on high alert and none too pleased. It was almost as if they weren't part of my tongue anymore.

Anyway, a special thanks to the fine people at Seton Hill. We had a blast and hope to work with you again soon. Also, you'll be hearing from my taste bud's lawyers.

Dave

Yes, We ate at Subway

So last night, it was brought to SUNY Cobleskill. Brian and I had a great time rocking the stage there. We'd like to give a special thanks to the Student Activities Board for all of the hard work they put into the show. We had a great turn out last night.

One thing I love about college shows, is the variety of people in the audience. As I watched the students pile into the auditorium, I noticed 2 guys wearing button up shirts with ties and vests, a few people wearing pajamas, and I'm pretty sure one girl had either just come from or was on her way to a volleyball game. What's cool is that all of these are the recommended attire for our show.

We had some technical difficulties at the beginning of the show, but being the consummate professionals that we are, we plowed through, and cried like little girls on the inside. The audience was very fun and responsive to the whole show. I started conversing with an audience member named Ulie (not sure if that's how you spell it). I kept calling him, "Guy in the Red Shirt," but finally some girl on the other side of the auditorium chimed in and shouted, "His name is Ulie!" I was impressed with her concern for Ulie's honor, and the fact that she could recognize him from across a dark auditorium. I can only assume that Ulie is known for his constant wearing of red shirts which made her connection easier.

I'm not going say there isn't much to do in Cobleskill, but I made a joke that was taken a little too seriously. I said, "Hey, maybe later we can all head over to the Walmart parking lot and play a little Red Rover." The place went nuts. After the show, some guys came over and very seriously said, "So is this Red Rover thing happening?" Unfortunately, we had to head home, but if we didn't, I can't say that Brian and I wouldn't have some throbbing arms today.

So, once again, thanks SUNY Cobleskill. Tell your friends and hopefully our path will cross again. Maybe, just maybe, some day we'll be in a Walmart parking lot and I can yell, "Red Rover, Red Rover, let Cobleskill come over!"

Dave

On the Road

Today, Dave and Brian take the road to SUNY Cobleskill and perform for the fine students of this New York State College. Saturday we hit the road to Seton Hill University and do the same. Hopefully, the shows will go great, we'll get more Facebook friends, and perhaps an honorary degree.

What does hitting the road look like for a famous musical comedy duo? First it involves, Dave loading his infant into a rental car so he can head down to the office to sign the rental papers. Conversation on the way to the rental office could include the impact of The Middle East's current political unbalance on Oil prices, Descartes' Passions of the Soul, or Fantasy Football.

Next, Dave will pick up his 2 year old from Nursery School, drop him off at home, and then head off to pick up Brian who has spent the morning caring for his 1 year old. By caring for his child, I mean training him in tax law, so that we can save on accountant fees every April. Then we hit the road toward New York probably listening to Jimmy Eat World, Weezer, and the audiobook of "Tuesdays with Morrie."

A lot of you are wondering, "Dave, how do you guys dine when you're on the road?" Since there aren't too many Ponderosas anymore, we usually stick to Chick-fil-A, Subway, and of course, Chinese Buffets. Otherwise, it's your typical regiment of Skittles, Nibs, and Corn Nuts.

Finally, we will get to rock the faces off of college kids. If there are any kids who show up without faces, we will rock off whatever remains on the front of their heads. Then we will be coming directly home after the show, so that trip will be sponsored by caffeine. Are we going directly home, because we are sick of trashing hotel rooms like Rock Stars? No. We want to get home, have 2 hours of sleep, and watch little kids like Rock Stars.

Dave

Shake your Shamrock

When I was younger I remember taking a sip of my Shamrock Shake and exclaiming, "More like ShamWow Shake!" At the time it was witty wordplay, but now seems very repulsive. It's that time of year where I will be stopping in to McDonalds a little more then I should. The Shamrock Shakes are back, and upon having my first of the season last night, my taste buds rejoiced.

For those of you unaware of this frozen minty drink of goodness, it's a milkshake that comes out in late February and leaves towards the end of March. Most McDonalds carry them, but not all. I was in one in Maryland a few years ago during March and when I asked for one, the girl behind the counter had no idea what I was talking about. It's a humbling experience when the 16 year old McDonalds employee, laughs at you and sarcastically says, "We don't have any Easter Egg Burgers either!" Lisa, thinks she's so smart with her purple and black shirt and McDonalds visor.

There are a lot of theories on the recipe for the Shamrock Shake, because McDonald's isn't very forthright on the ingredients. I'm kind of surprised that we live in a world that can come up with cures for Smallpox and Polio, but can't crack the Shamrock Code. What could they use to create this mint flavored shake: bits of Thin Mints, Crest with fluoride, the flesh of Leprechauns? We may never know. I've heard the argument that it's just a vanilla milkshake with green dye, and your brain is manipulated to think it's mint. I thought this was a ridiculous theory, but then I heard it referenced on The Simpsons, so it must be legit.

No matter how it's made, I will continue to consume it. I'd like to stock up, but I never know how to store a milkshake. If I put it in the freezer, it will get all thick and weird. If I put it in the fridge it will become soup. It's probably for the best that it's out for a limited time. If I had it year round, I may not appreciate it as much, like Tax Day.

Dave

Not Cold Pockets

So we wrote a song called Hot Pockets, that should not only have swept the nation by now, but also gotten us an invite to the royal wedding. This song has been well received from children in grade school to people older than my mom. Last summer we were at a dance party night of a conference for teens and young adults, and when the song came on, the place erupted.

With all of this love for the Hot Pockets song, why is it that the Hot Pockets people have not picked up on it yet? Is it because they are stuck on their old song? If you remember it goes like this "Hot Pockets!" Sure lyrically and melodically it is one of the top 3 pop songs of our time, but does it still have the pizzazz it once did? I venture to say it's time for an update, and maybe that update, is the Dave and Brian's, "Hot Pockets" song.

Right now, the Dave and Brian song, is on the www.eatfreely.org site which is part of an ad campaign for the product, but that doesn't seem to be enough. I'd like to see a music video for this song that takes the web by storm. I'd like to see a college or grocery store tour for Dave and Brian bringing the message to the masses. I'd like to see food health organizations campaigning against us because we are causing people to become addicted to Hot Pockets.

What can you the fan do? There is a Facebook group rallying people to make this song the new theme song. Join it and invite your friends:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=173797238269

Contact the Nestle' people and ask why our song isn't their theme song yet:

http://www.nestle.com/Common/Peripherals/Pages/ContactUs.aspx

More importantly, share the song with your friends and eat Hot Pockets. Check out this rocking version below. Thanks!

Dave

P Day

Today we celebrate Presidents' Day. I don't really know much about the holiday, but I figured I had to do something seeing that I didn't get my card in the mail on time. It will be there tomorrow or the next day, President Obama.

Let me start with very important information I did not know until I started researching. If you are looking on Wikipedia for info about Presidents' Day in Botswana, you have to type "Presidents' Day (Botswana)." You'd look really stupid talking about Presidents' Day in Botswana in February, when it's celebrated on the 3rd Monday and Tuesday in July.

Now for our Presidents' Day. If I'm not mistaken, it's a holiday started by a guy who didn't want to work on the 3rd Monday of February and was originally meant to honor George Washington's Birthday. There is nothing that Washington loved more then huge savings on furniture and used cars, which is why the tradition remains to this day.

Eventually people wanted to tie in Lincoln's birthday to the celebrations, and when Chester A. Arthur's people started complaining, we just went all out and made it a holiday for all of the Presidents. Different states celebrate this holiday differently and I learned some surprising facts. For instance, New Mexico observes Presidents' Day as a paid state government vacation day the Friday after Thanksgiving. The surprising fact for me is that New Mexico is still considered a state, especially after learning info like that.

That's is pretty much my understanding of the holiday, and I'd like to thank the mixture of Pennsylvania and NY State Public Schools for my education. Hope you are all enlightened, especially you Kathryn since you're going to be in Botswana the 3rd Monday and Tuesday in July.

Dave

Gaga the Lady

There are a lot of things that had people buzzing after the Grammy's. Bieber lost out to Esperanza Spalding, a bassist jazz singer, and not the creator of sporting equipment as I originally thought. Cee Lo Green was dressed as a peacock and sang with Gwenyth Paltrow, one of the most accomplished actresses of our time, or as a new generation of fans know her, the lady who was on "Glee" a few times. And who can forget that poor soul who was barely intelligible and some feared was having a stroke. . .but enough about Bob Dylan (hey-yo!).

What people don't seem to be talking about is Lady GaGa's acceptance speech. At the end of her speech she thanked Whitney Houston by saying, "I wanted to thank Whitney, because when I wrote Born this Way, I imagined she was singing it- because I wasn't secure enough in myself to imagine I was a superstar. So, Whitney, I imagined you were singing Born this Way, when I wrote it."

Beside the fact that Whitney has enough problems, this was confusing to me. First off, does she confuse Whitney Houston with Madonna, because I'm pretty sure her song sounded just like Express Yourself. Maybe like so many of us do, she just imagines what life would be like if Whitney and Madonna had each other's careers. I'm pretty sure "The Bodyguard" and "A League of Their Own," would've been completely different films.

Finally, she wasn't ". . .secure enough. . ." in herself to imagine she was a superstar? She's secure enough to dress like characters from "The Neverending Story" at every event she shows up to, but she's not secure enough to write a text book pop song? Lady Gaga, you do what you have to do. I know when Brian and I are writing songs we often imagine we are a mixture of Phil Collins, Michael Bolton, and Tom Cochrane (singer of Life is a Highway).

Dave

Cailifornia of PA Knows How to Party

Hey Everyone,

So a few weeks ago, we had the pleasure of heading out to the University of California of Pennsylvania. It's very similar to the real California, except the temp was -7 and there was ice on the ground. Brian and I were kicking off the comedy series, Funny Freaking Fridays for Student Activities there.

I must say that they had one of the best advertising campaigns I've seen on a campus for a comedy show. They had posters for the event everywhere. My only complaint is that with all of the access we have to photo manipulation technology, they could've at least photoshopped some more hair on my head or create an illusion of abs. Even without that though, they still filled the theater which is even more impressive because classes had been cancelled that day due to snow.

Our contact and host for the event was Ashley, a sophomore communications major. She explained to us how much our song "Hot Pockets" meant to her since they were her only sustenance during the blizzard of 2010. Not sure this is a memory I'd want to relive, but apparently she likes it.

The show went great and the crowd was responsive, but it's what was going on outside the theater that caught our attention. We met some of the Student Activities Board before the show, and a few of them explained that they would not be attending because they had a Dungeons and Dragons game planned for the same time. It's probably the first time that when we sang the line ". . .on Friday night I play D & D. . ." in "The Dork Anthem," that it was literally happening in the next room. Very odd.

Dave