Dave and Brian Lost Their Minds

As many of you may have already seen, we are trying to raise $25,000 to record our next album. Some of you, including myself, may think that we've lost our mind, but we look at it as something to move the Dave and Brian business forward. If we were starting a Taco Bell and needed $25,000 it would probably seem less weird. One major difference though, is that I can guarantee our album was cause way less stomach issues.

So let me give you some back story on this. A few weeks ago, Brian and I performed at Camping for Christ in Kresgeville, PA. It's a fun event with a pig roast and everything. This year, the headlining guest was singer/songwriter, member of the Grammy nominated Paul Colman Trio, and member of the Newsboys, Paul Colman (www.paulcolman.com). He sat through our whole show, which often times other entertainers (or much of the general populace) won't do, because they've got too many other cool things to do. Afterwards, he approached us and was very excited about what we are doing.

Paul was very complimentary about our show and being Australian, he used several phrases we don't understand. Don't get me wrong, I eat at Outback and all, I'm just not fluent. Anyway, he mentioned that he live in the Nashville area now and works with artists on producing albums.

He later followed up with Brian on a phone call and shared some great ideas. He plans on not just working on the album, but wants to work with us to improve our live show. Paul is also very connected in the music industry and wants to shop us around to various labels, and get us on the music festival circuit next summer. The goal is to be done by December and get things moving for 2012. To be perfectly honest, if he's able to introduce us to Michael W. Smith (www.michaelwsmith.com) at some point, it'll be worth it.

After looking at our bank accounts, we've come to find out that apparently, we do not have this money (does anyone other than Mike Whittle get that reference?). $25,000 is a lot of cash to raise. If I've learned anything from films such as Tommy Boy, Hot Rod, and Dirty Work, we just need to sell more brake pads, stunt jump some buses, or start a revenge for hire business. Until we get there though, we're going to beg. We've started a page on indiegogo.com to help raise funds (see link below). Every little bit helps, so if you think you can donate it would be much appreciated! We have great fans who have been very supportive and we look forward to this next step in our career to be able to connect with more people. Thanks for all of your help!

TYI Was an Eskimo's Nightmare

Last week, Brian and I had the privilege of performing at the Southern Territorial Youth Institute (TYI) for The Salvation Army in Texas. There were about 250 students there and the temperature averaged about 108 everyday. At one point, I think it got up to 112. Going between the excessive heat outside, and then going to the freezing air conditioning inside, I now know what it feels like to be a woman in her 60's (I made this joke last year, but I love it so much.).

We did our show on the Tuesday night and played our new song, "Branta Canadensis (Down in Flames)." It's basically a protest against the illegal immigration of Canadian Geese. For those of you who want to correct us by pointing out that they're actually called, "Canada Geese," realize most people call them "Canadian." It's kind of like how we call the Kardashians celebrities. It's not true, but generally accepted.

After our show, a kid came up to me and shared the affect that our show had on him a few years prior. He explained that he had seen us in North Carolina and shared, "Your show really meant a lot to me. After seeing you guys a few years ago, it gave me the courage. . . (here's where I'm expecting a life changing story). . . to wear a dress on stage." This was one of those genuine, "Can you repeat that?" moments. He went on to explain that he was asked to participate in a play, but he had to wear a dress for it, and thought it was too stupid. Then he saw how stupid we were on stage and having fun, so he had a change of heart. So there you go: Dave and Brian, changing lives, one student dressed in drag at a time.

For those of you who know me, I am a huge Phillies fan. Let's just say this was a great week for them to go on a 9 game winning streak, because I was surrounded by Braves fans and was doing a lot of "talking." At the beginning of our show, the sound guy started playing the Braves fight song, and half the audience got up and started doing the Tomahawk Chop. When they finished I said, "That was cute. You should all get together and do that in October when you have nothing better to do." I've become a baseball jerk, but I justify it by all those years of being a fan of the laughingstock of baseball.

At TYI we met a lot of awesome students, but one that stands out was a young man from Alabama, named Will. Will was an incredible guy with a great heart, and could pray with such insight and authority that it'd blow your mind. Anyway, he came up to Brian with a song idea about a fictitious product called "Super Detergent." The beauty of Super Detergent is that it can clean anything. You could put your clothes and dishes in the same load. According to Will, it's like Jesus who can clean anything. I guess it's a religious allegory, like Lord of the Rings. Brian wrote a sweet jam for it and put it together with the full band. Here's some rough footage below. It starts with me sharing a little about some stuff God had shown me personally this week, so that's what I'm rambling about in the beginning. Thanks to Matt Cunningham for the footage.

Dave

Spandex Band, Lemonjellos, and Flash Mob

I had the opportunity to hang out with CIY Staff, guests, and Bible College Students during my time in Holland, MI. I really got to know people well during the weekend when we had a bunch of free time. On the Saturday night, we had an awesome picnic involving some tasty BBQ Ribs, KanJam (www.kanjam.com), and a baseball game. In the middle of our picnic some older dudes showed up on their bikes hauling instruments. It turns out they're called The Joybox Express (www.joyboxexpress.com), and bike across Michigan to raise money and awareness of the arts for children. The juxtaposition of their beautiful music playing and their spandex fitted bodies was the true expression of art in my opinion.

There is a great coffee shop in Holland called, Lemonjello's. I got in a little bit of trouble, because the ignorant human being that I am pronouncing words as they're spelled, called it Lemon Jellos. It's pronounced "Lemawnjawlos." It's kind of like the whole "Target/Tarjay" thing, except less absurd. They have a great atmosphere, wonderful coffee drinks (I recommend the Stress Reliever), and one of the coolest soda drinks I've ever had. It's called a "Green Army Guy" and here's the ingredients: green apple soda+strawberry+an army guy. That's right! There is a little green army man floating in your drink. Phenomenal!

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Mike, Chris, Annie, and Bethany from Central Christian College of the Bible (www.cccb.edu) for taking the time to hang out with me. We all learned a lot about each other. For instance, Chris and I could become professional KanJam players if there were such a thing, Mike has an inner-Martin Van Buren like no other, Annie could never be on the A-team due to a fear of vehicles with open doors, and Bethany has strong opinions about Chipotle. They actually offered me a scholarship if I were to come to their school and gave me a T-shirt. I didn't say anything, but I would've come just for the shirt.

The last week at Michigan consisted of 1300 fired up high school kids, who I once again referred to as Martha. One kid on the last day, hugged me and whispered, "Marth loves hugs." I'm not sure he understood how creepy that was. This group was especially cool, because they pulled a planking flash mob on me. It was very well planned, because none of us on leadership had any idea it was going to happen. I was doing my thing one night on stage and when I put a picture up on screen, 1300 people dropped to the floor in unison to plank. It was one of the coolest things I'd ever seen.

In closing on my CIY MOVE adventures, the fine CIY people made a great film about the persecuted church around the world that they showed at these events. It's called Love Costs Everything, and was very intense, but also very challenging and eye opening. It's not available yet, but you can check out more info here: http://2011.ciy.com/lovecostseverything.

Dave

My Clogs Were Useless in Holland, Michigan

After San Francisco, I got home, mowed my lawn, and the next day went to Holland, Michigan for 2 weeks of Christ in Youth's (www.ciy.com) MOVE events. My flight was later in the day, so I got to the event with about 20 minutes to spare to get on stage. This meant I could only do half of my pre-show Pilates routine.

Fortunately, having already done the Durango event, I went in much better prepared and more confident. It's a good thing, because there were over 1900 teenagers there and they were ready to party. There were teens dressed as Gorillas, some as bananas, and even a kid in a camouflage, full-body spandex suit. He was kind of a walking oxymoron, because he wanted to draw attention to himself with the suit, yet it was camouflage. For one of the games I lead, I didn't have a prize to give since I had just gotten there, so I gave the winners a Sky Mall Magazine, and a Barf Bag.

I felt that referring to the audience as "The Audience" or just the name of the event was tacky and impersonal. I decided that when we were all together, I would just refer to the audience as "Margaret." Separately, the audience members were individuals, but as a unit they were Margaret. Kind of like how the different Power Rangers were The Blue one or The Pink one, but would combine to make that Vultron Robot at the end of every episode. I really feel Margaret and I connected that week.

On the Wednesday of the event they had a Volleyball Tournament. Apparently, I'm not too cultured, because I pronounce it "Tour-nament" and not "Turn-ament." Thank you midwesterners for setting me straight. Anyway, when I arrived at the event I met a team from Illinois that was gracious enough to invite me on their team. My childhood dream had finally come to fruition. I was a member of The Bleeding Frogs volleyball team.

Our first match is one that will be discussed for years to come by mostly me and other members of my team. Maybe just me. One of my teammates had a nasty serve and sent a message to the other team in an unorthodox way. She smashed the ball into her brother's face, thus telling the other team, "I'm not afraid to take anyone out, not even my kin."

We were down by about 5 at one point and on the cusp of defeat, when I had a sweet put-back that swung the momentum in our favor. We went on from there to maintain possession and score our way to victory. There was a lot of rejoicing, except from the other team, and the kid that got smashed in the face. Unfortunately, we weren't so lucky in the next round. Maybe we were tired, or maybe we should've smashed another teammate in the face with a serve, but we just didn't have it. We may not have won that tournament, but wherever there is a frog bleeding, it has been honored through volleyball.

Bleeding Frogs 4 Eva

Dave

San to the Fran

I got home from Durango and not even 24 hours later, I was back at the airport with the whole fam to head off to San Francisco. Not sure if you've ever traveled with a 2 1/2 year old, and 7 month old, but I'm pretty sure I've discovered the premise for a new challenge on "The Amazing Race." The plane ride wasn't that bad it's getting through the airport. You have both kids, luggage, stroller, birth certificates, bottles, and the love of family which seemed to have a slow leak as we made our way through security.

We landed in San Francisco at 9:30 PM Pacific which was 12:30 AM my time. You know how in Gremlins they weren't supposed to feed Gizmo after midnight because of what he would become? I think it's worse when you wake up a toddler and infant to get off a plane after midnight.

We went to San Fran for my wife's work so I'd like to thank the University of Pennsylvania for putting us up in a sweet hotel by the Pier. While my wife had meetings during the week, the boys and I hit the town. We were able to rock the Zoo, The Exploratorium, The Maritime National Historic Park, and the 39th Street Pier. Nolan and I also checked out a Giants/Twins game in which the starting pitcher was pulled after only 1 out (which was the opposing pitcher), and giving up 9 hits and 8 runs. What did Nolan talk about most? The trolly ride there.

It only took until the 2nd day there to realize a mistake we made. The main mode of public transportation in San Fran is Trolley Trains. Between that, the boats, and bridges, my son Nolan was in a sensory overload. We were basically on a real life train table and his head was about to explode. We'd step outside and he would literally start stuttering he was so excited. When I started running out of ideas for what to do, we would just go to trolley stops and watch people get off and on. What's odd is when I do that with 2 kids, no one says anything, but when I do it by myself, someone calls the cops.

All in all it was a fun trip. I had a good amount of seafood, walked a ton of hills, and had a homeless guy share with me his idea for a diaper that lights up when wet. I love that city.

Durango (Colorado, not the automobile)

Hey everyone. I'd like to give you some excuse like travel, family responsibilities, or witness protection as to why there hasn't been a blog in forever, but I believe I can sum it up perfectly with just 2 words: Lazy Writer.

It has been a crazy few weeks for me. Brian and I were booked separately to Emcee MOVE, which is a week long high school event put on by Christ in Youth (www.ciy.com) all over the country. Brian did an event in Tennessee and one in Florida. I did one in Colorado and 2 in Michigan. Actually, in the last 4 weeks, I have been in Colorado, California, Michigan, New Jersey, and Illinois. I have only been home for probably a total of 3 days combined. It wasn't that bad, except my kids are calling me by my first name, my wife rented out my side of the closet, and my dog keeps growling at me.

I will give you the run down on my journeys, but will do so in separate blogs. This first one is dedicated to my trip to Durango, Colorado where I Emceed a unique MOVE event that had over 900 teens from a church in the Phoenix area. Colorado is a nice place, but I do have one recommendation for those people. They should definitely look in to oxygen. We have it here in Philly and I find that it helps so much with things like breathing. Some might argue that the air is cleaner there, which it is, mostly because there's less of it to get dirty.

It was weird to be on stage by myself. I used to do stand-up alone all the time during and right after college, but Brian and I have been doing our show for over 7 years now. I mostly did jokes at this event, for 2 main reasons. If I were to do the songs, they'd all just be a cappella and some would be just a harmony, which can be off-putting. Secondly, the only instrument I would be playing is the Glockenspiel which needs the guitar to tone down it's power.

All in all I had a great time out in Colorado. I learned a new game called KanJam (www.kanjam.com), hung out with some cool teens from Phoenix, and discovered a new phenomenon called "Planking," which is pictured above. It's basically where you lie down very straight in unique places, and get a picture of it to can post on line. I wish this would've started while I was in college. I could've gotten some great "Planking" pictures around the Frat Houses on Saturday mornings.

All in all, the week was fun and a good learning experience for when I would be heading off to Michigan. I learned how some of the games I was supposed to lead actually worked, what material worked best and when, and not to announce Basketball Tournaments when they don't exist. I also helped organize the longest side-hug to try and set a record for the summer (video below).

Roads of Rage

Sorry I've been so negligent on the blog front. Things have been a little crazy, between taking care of the kids, and pulling our house together. I understand that there is a strong possibility that some of you have been lying awake at night, wondering when the next blog was coming, and I will forever have that on my conscience. Let's be honest though, some of that may be due to the amount of caffeine you've been consuming. I'm not a doctor, but we all know that I can't fully be blamed for your lack of sleep.

I'd like to comment on something that has recently happened to me twice now, and it hasn't happened since high school. In the last few weeks, I have been given the finger twice in traffic. At first, I thought they were telling me I was number one and just using the wrong finger. Looking back on the circumstances of the situation, it occurs to me that they were giving me this finger out of spite and not encouragement. I didn't realize people still did this, let alone adults.

The first time it happened was on 95. I was in the far left lane already going 7 miles over the speed limit (I fear putting this for legal reasons, but I'm not sure that a blog is legally binding). There was a truck to my right going about the same speed, so I wasn't able to get over. I noticed in the rear view a white car coming up fast. I don't remember the type of car. Could've been a Lexus or an Audi, but I can definitively say that it wasn't a Ford Escort. It was driven by an older gentleman in his 60's, wearing sunglasses, and a shirt unbuttoned low enough so we could see the medallion on his gold chain I suppose. I don't want to speculate on his nationality, but I'm willing to bet that if Jersey Shore came out in the 70's, this fellow would be a celebrity.

The guy got right up on my bumper, and started flashing his headlights. This act is meant to make me move over or speed up. Needless to say it was kind of useless, because there were vehicles to my right, and my first reaction to this sort of thing is to slow down. Don't worry. I didn't slow down. I did however get into the next lane and as he passed, I turned and gave him the biggest smile you can imagine. You know, the kind that makes those muscles right under your cheekbones hurt. I would say I was asking for it with the smile, but he was already giving me the finger as he passed. He weaved in and out of traffic ahead of us and then zoomed off an exit a few miles later. I can't really comment on why he was in such a hurry. Maybe he was in labor. Maybe he couldn't slow down under a certain speed or his car would blow up. Maybe he feels that it's impossible for him to be part of the solution so he has just given in to the other side. No matter what, the odds are fairly good that he's just an arrogant old man with an irrational sense of entitlement.

It happened again the other day. I was sitting at a red light, and the people across the intersection from me got the green arrow to turn left. My light then turned green, giving me the right of way. As I started to go, a car ran the light to sneak in their left, which I put up with, but then the huge pick-up truck behind him went totally cutting me off. I honked my horn, and the guy looked back at me and gave me the finger. I know, it was probably rude of me to honk my horn to point out that he was clearly cutting me off, potentially causing an accident, and not adhering to something we all were taught in pre-school, which is to wait your turn.

I'm not sure what caused him to be so juvenile and bitter. Perhaps the resentment of owning a pick-up truck in the suburbs finally got to him. I'm sure the machismo that it makes him feel does not balance out all of the times he's asked to help someone move. I don't take it personally that these guys flipped me off. I'm offended that there are people in society, that still think this is an appropriate reaction to their discontent. Oh well. My goal here is not retaliation or complaint. It's to hopefully reach out to those who may still use this gesture, and help them see how ridiculous it is. Try something a little less ignorant. I don't know what. Bite your thumb at people. At least that's Shakespearean.

Dave