Excuse Me, That's my Mail

Someone apparently hacked into my email yesterday and changed my password, so that I could no longer access it. I was able to get back in to my electronic mail today, and I did not like what they had done with the place. They moved all of my stuff, they changed the curtains, and pretty much let the dog out without a leash.

All of my emails from my "SENT" box and my "INBOX" were in my "TRASH" box. My Inbox had 2 messages from some sort of India travel agency telling me they got my emails and would be in touch soon. I really can't wait to continue that correspondence. My Sent box had 1 email, sent about 40 times, and each time sent to about 50 people. The email was about what seemed to be a fantastic financial opportunity that people could be a part of and all they have to do is share some personal information. It sounded pretty legit to me. My only concern is that the creator doesn't seem to have an email, because they had to steal mine. Who knows, maybe they are so busy with this financial opportunity, they don't have time for their own email.

They also took the time to change my settings, so that whenever I went to compose a new email, their financial email kept popping up. It was also showing that it was being sent from another email. I would like to thank this hacker, because I didn't even know that sort of thing could be done on my email.

Needless to say, I changed my password. I also had to go through and change my password on every sort of account I had. So hopefully my email is safe, my Ebay account is safe, and most importantly my Nick Jr account is safe.

Dave

Let the Rain Fall Down

As was referenced yesterday, we had some water infiltration in our house. Basically, much like our children, the rains came from heaven, entered our home, and made things very wet. I entered our basement on Sunday night, and noticed there was a small puddle of water on the floor near our stuff. I recognized right away that it wasn't part of our stuff, because we usually keep our water in the fridge.

My wife and I started moving our things so we could clean up. I had my wife do most of the lifting, because she owed me from her 9 months of non-lifting during pregnancy. Anyway, I ran to my brother-in-law's to get a wet/dry vac, and by the time I got back, the puddle had grown and multiplied. I'm not a scientist, but I was pretty sure this had something to do with more water.

I started vacuuming and when I came back from emptying it, I noticed the water had gotten deeper and had pretty much spread throughout the basement. I was beginning to feel like there was something wrong here, or I had fallen victim to the Wet Bandits. My wife called a sump pump guy and I continued vacuum holding in my tears for fear of adding to the water.

It turns out the sump pump works, but we couldn't figure out where the water was coming from. As my wife was on the phone she noticed this at the base of our wall:
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There were several of these founts coming out of the base of our wall, and they flowed steadily for at least 4 hours. We didn't have any little dutch boy's thumbs around, so all we could do is let it flow. We decided that vacuuming wasn't keeping up with the flow so we started trying to push the water into our sump pump.

I show this video to display my flawless technique and also, my beautiful rain boots. Their my wife's, and before you say anything, chew on this: Is it weirder that I'm wearing my wife's boots, or that we have the same size feet?

So all of the water has now departed from our basement. We're hoping it was just a one time visit, and are working on making that a reality. I don't really spend too much time in my basement, so it was nice to have this opportunity to loiter there a but.

Dave

The Dork Anthem Revisited

I apologize for my relapse in lazy blog writing. I have been fighting this cold, and also have experienced a little bit of a flood in my basement. As a matter of fact, as I write this there is a 2 year old going through a screaming fit out of some sort of possession upstairs. What I'm saying is that this whole adult thing, really has put a hinderance on my writing stupidity here. That's still no excuse though for letting you fine folk down. I apologize and will try harder.

I'll discuss more about the basement flood tomorrow. It's not the end of the world, but let's just say that if Kanye West were here, he'd have some very pointed things to say about how George Bush feels about my family. Anyway, tonight I'd like to draw attention to a milestone in the world of Dave and Brian.

It's been just over a year, since we released our 1st music video for "The Dork Anthem" on Youtube. It has reached over 77,000 views and been featured on countless blogs, new shows, and FunnyOrDie. We even got to perform at an Anime Conference last August. That was the first time I shared an elevator with GI Joe and a girl with pink hair and purple tights, and I was the weird one.

For the most part, the video has been well received. Unfortunately though, there are some who did not get the light-heartedness of the video and decided to go on verbal tirades. This is by far my favorite comment we have ever received on anything, let alone the video. It was on a blog called, Geekology:

I've never commented before, but in my personal opinion, as someone who visits this site daily, I HATE this video. I think it was not only a waste of footage and space on your website, but it made me sick with it's fake overblown attitude, predictable lyrics, hackneyed cliches, AND BEER COMMERCIAL INSTRUMENTALS. I was literally on the floor vomiting for half an hour. I even watched the entire video in some blind hope that it would have a redeeming quality. it did not. By the time the video ended I was hemorrhaging from my brain to my anus.

Screw This Video. I love you, man-who-chooses-what-to-post. You are a king, but this was and is a piece of crap choice. You've made my potential future children cry and beg to be let back on their holo-game systems

This person said they were "literally vomiting. . ." Literally means they were actually doing it. I don't consider what we do "art," but if it is causing this kind of reaction, maybe it is. I remember Brian's response after reading this was, "Man, if our video did this to him, I can't imagine what the earthquake in Haiti has done to him."

Well, anyway, thanks to all of you fans, who have made this video so popular. Feel free to give it another watch and pass it along for old times sake. We are working on plans for a new video and a new EP. We hope to have those things moving this summer in to next fall. Keep an eye out.

Dave

Straight up Illin

It seems like 2 times a year, I get sick. Usually, I start to feel it the night before, struggle through an evening of temperature change, nausea, congestions, and hallucinations. There aren't really hallucinations, but it gives me a good excuse to talk with my imaginary friend, Lamar. Anyway, I then spend the next day feeling awful and pretty much passed out in bed. Then by the next morning I feel fine.

This is what occurred in my life starting Wednesday night and all the way through last night. It used to be when I was sick, I would just lie on the coach and watch Judge Judy, and my Soap Operas, or "Stories" as I call them. Now that I have kids, it's a little harder to do that. Also, now that Mark Hapka, or Nathan, is no longer on Days of Our Lives, what's the point? I went to high school with him, and played his dad twice in school plays. Some find it weird that I played his dad. Don't worry, usually the girl playing my wife was good looking, so the real question people usually had was how did he end up with her? Anyway, Booh, Days. I haven't been this upset since Sammi kidnapped baby Belle.

Where was I? Oh yeah, I was sick yesterday. I knew it wasn't going to be my day. Even the episode of Curious George that was on involved him chasing a jazz singing germ through his own body. I hadn't felt that connected to Curious George since I used to hang out with this guy who always wore a yellow hat. I had to take my 2 year old to school in the morning. This involves me carrying the 3 month old in his carrier down a packed hallway of parents and crazed toddlers. I was so out of it, and it was so heavy, by the time I got to where I needed to be, I was waiting for David Bowie to show up in tight pants singing with some Muppets (Labyrinth reference for the kids).

I ended up calling my mother-in-law to come over and help watch the boys, so I could try and get some sleep. Lots of people like to make hack jokes about their mother-in-laws, but you won't see me doing it. I like to think that mine are original. Actually here's a good one that gets my wife too: "People are always telling my mother-in-law that she looks so much like my wife, they could be sisters. She always takes that to mean she looks young enough to be her sister. What if they just really mean my wife looks really really old?" Don't worry, they won't get too mad at me. I've been sick.

I ended up in bed at like 8:30 PM last night. That worked out nicely because NBC just ended up running a bunch of repeats of The Office and not any new comedies. I'm not going to say it was because I was sick, but between this and the Curious George thing, I can't disprove that my body may be in tune with television programming. I woke up this morning not 100% but pretty good. The best way to describe it is, if yesterday I felt like I got hit by a truck, today I feel like I got hit by a Mini Cooper. Anyway, feeling better and ready for the weekend. Until next time, Lamar.

Dave

Wiki the Pedia

So, believe it or not, when I am writing these blogs, I often go to Wikipedia for my knowledge. I'm willing to bet that you guys aren't looking for this blog to be a hard fact finding Pulitzer Prize piece, so I don't mind going there for some guidance. I'm sure I could use other reputable news sources like CNN, The Today Show, and 20/20, so as soon as they're done talking about Charlie Sheen, I'll check them out.

Anyway, there is some crazy stuff that people have taken the time to document on Wikipedia. Last week, I mentioned that you can look up Presidents' Day in Botswana. Today I was doing research on Ultimate Fighting, and I came across a page dedicated to explaining what a Groin Attack is. Surprisingly, it's very effective in self defense.

I once had thoughts of adding something myself to this beautiful site. My cousin's husband, Steve (I unnecessarily put his name in there so he and his wife, Mel, will know it's about him), claims that he is the inventor of the Orange Sherbet Shake or at least he was the reason it came about. Apparently, he requested one as a lad just outside of Buffalo, and not too long after, the ice cream shop was carrying them. If this is enough to make him the founder of the Orange Sherbet Shake, then I can be credited for Weekend at Bernies 2. After I heard his claim, I went home and was going to create a Wikipedia page, claiming Steve to be the founder of the Orange Sherbet Shake, but when I started looking into it, the process seemed too complicated and time consuming.

With that being said, it blows my mind the things that people have taken the time to document. Here are some things that you can find out about on Wikipedia: Steve Guttenberg, Small Wonder (TV series), glam metal, National Hockey League, Altoona Curve, My Pet Monster, Arch Deluxe, and Whatzupwitu.

There isn't a Wikipedia for "Dave and Brian" yet. I guess we're too complicated for people to try and explain.

Dave

Happy Birthday?

I feel sorry for the people who were born on February 29th. Apparently, they can celebrate their birthdays on February 28th or March 1st. Really though, their birthday wouldn't be the 28th, it would be today. The problem is, today is March 1st, not the 29th which is the date they were born. The reality is that every 4 years they get to celebrate a real birthday and the other years, it must feel like kind of a sham.

Last fall, Brian and his family traveled to Australia. It takes about 24 hours to get there, and Brisbane, Australia is roughly 13 hours ahead of Philly. This means if you were to leave today, March 1st, and even though it was only about a 24 hour trip, you would land on March 3rd, totally missing March 2nd. I don't mean to get all Doc Brown (Back to the Future reference for you kids who don't understand), but you have just traveled to the future. On the way back it can work out that you repeat the day.

I bring this all up as a recommendation for those February 29th Birthday celebrators. I say in 2012, go to Australia the week before your birthday. Live it up and take in the sites: visit Steve Irwin's Australia Zoo, reenact scenes from Crocodile Dundee, and check out the Outback Steakhouse in Wollongong. On the 29th, have a birthday party in the morning and invite all of your new Aussie friends. Then at 12 PM head back to the US. When you land it will be about 9 PM on the 29th again, and you can celebrate another day. Whatever you do though, if you're birthday is on February 29th, DO NOT plan a flight to Australia on the 28th!

I'm pretty sure I did the math on this correctly, but if not I'm sorry, especially if this blog rips a hole in the space time continuum. I'm just trying to help make up for some lost Birthdays. In 2012, you can have a little more cake and feel like less of a fraud.

Dave

Seton Hill, Sugar, and Utlimate Fighting

So I actually missed 2 days of blogging. I wasn't slacking off. We were on the road Saturday to do a show at Seton Hill University in Greensburg, PA. Sunday we drove back and I made the heinous mistake of going for a run. I'm not sure if it was as bad as heinous, but I never get to use that word, and it makes me laugh because it sounds like another word. Anyway, I haven't run in months, and I had been in the car all day. It wasn't the best time to run about 4 miles, up and down hills. Thank heaven my fingers aren't used in the act of running or this would be day number 3 of not blogging.

Seton Hill is a small University outside of Pittsburgh and the show was in an awesome, little theater for comedy. Before the show, we had an impromptu spelling bee. Some groups play name games, some play cards, but the Student Activities Board (SAB) of Seton Hill compete in spelling. After an onslaught of rigorous mind-numbing rounds, Brian was the last man standing. Congratulations to him on his flawless spelling ability.

The show went very well and the crowd seemed very pleased by Smalltown Gangstas. They really seemed to appreciate the message of the song, as well as a solid trombone solo. After the show, we headed out to Primanti Bros. Restaurant with the SAB which is where the real fun began. Primanti Bros. is famous for it's sandwiches that are stacked with meat, french fries, and coleslaw. Not only did it taste great, but it also will provide me with a very bad cholesterol report on my next blood test.

As we were eating, a UFC event came on all of the TV's. For those of you who aren't clear on what that is, I don't want you to make the same mistake I did. UFC stands for "Ultimate Fighting Championship," not "Ultimate Frisbee Championship." This is the first time I've witnessed an event like this, since Tickle Me Elmos were the hot item on Black Friday. I wouldn't consider myself a full fledged fan now, but I do see the entertainment value of this sport. I couldn't take my eyes off of the octagon. I don't know if it's because it's an octagon, but I do think if it were a rhombus or trapezoid, it'd be less appealing.

These guys rip in to each other, and don't seem to care about pain or the fact that they're getting other people's blood on themselves. One guy won a very hard fought, bloody battle and cried when he was announced the victor. I don't know if he cried because he was happy, or if the adrenaline was wearing off and he was feeling the fact that half of his head was open. Needless to say, this isn't a sport I will be getting too into. I don't look good in tight shorts, or blood.

As we were in the midst of our dinner, the spelling bee playing SAB, decided to let us in on another game they enjoyed playing, called Sugar Shots. This game involves getting a bunch of sugar packets, emptying one out, and filling it with salt. Then they get mixed up and passed around to the participants. On the count of 3 you suck down your packet, and the person with the salt tries to conceal their reaction so others have to guess who had it. We passed out the packets and even passed them around 7 more times so there was no question of cheating. You'll never guess who ended up with the salt.

Have you ever chugged a packet of salt? Let's just say that my first response was not to conceal the fact that I had the salt. It was my 2nd thought, but by then was too late. I gagged and reached for my water, which turned out to be a bad idea. It was basically like drinking the ocean. My mouth and tongue started to grow numb and I think I was in shell shock, because every 5 minutes I relived the moment of salt filling my mouth. Apparently, the taste buds that respond to salty flavor are on the side, towards the middle of my tongue. I know because they were on high alert and none too pleased. It was almost as if they weren't part of my tongue anymore.

Anyway, a special thanks to the fine people at Seton Hill. We had a blast and hope to work with you again soon. Also, you'll be hearing from my taste bud's lawyers.

Dave